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This is so how I feel 99% of the time. I try help people who ask for it to get others to really want to change their world and innovate. Make things better for everyone. At every turn I am met by obstinance, selfishness, flat out stupidty or the lack of an attention span to understand what is being conveyed.
I would say for the longest time I have played the martyr or one fighting for a cause that no one cares to understand. The anachronistic or avant-garde personae ahead of his time and lost to a world of mediocrity. Anyway...here it is.
( Symmetry )Current Mood:  disappointed Current Music: Savatage - Symmetry |
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Yay! I've been waiting for another dose of Wolverine and theres a trailer here, http://www.myspace.com/x-menorigins
Go see it and geek out. If anyone knows me they know he's one of my favorite characters along with Magneto.Current Mood:  giddy |
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Ugh. Winter is here, we have freezing rain.
On another note, I am still working at the LEAST 30 hours a week right now. Good money.
Though, I'm trying to keep in contact with some of my friends. Daemonfury and Zon being among them. Both have kids and I completely understand when they can't talk or have their own stuff going on. I miss several of my friends and need to make a trip to visit them once the weather clears a bit. Perhaps after the first of the year. A trip to Pgh is right up my alley. Though I need to decide where I am goiung with my life right now. What I am doing now is a step but the puzzle is not complete. See, everything to me is a plan, one step further to a goal which I long to achieve. Right now many of those goals seem far away or far-fetched, not impossible just...difficult. Either way, I need to get this plan in motion. I need a permanent place to live, I need to get my daughter in said place, need to finish school AND keep a job all at the same time. I beleive theres time to continue my writing which helps my sanity, and probably everyone elses who has to deal with me. LOL.
That said I miss my silly Selene. I'm not sure what the hells going on with Sarah, we still talk but its kinda uncomfortable at times. I miss my friends in Pgh too. Haven't seen them in forever. On that note, not sure about a few things on that end either. I don't want to read too much into anything either. Usually ends up in disaster. =/Current Mood:  thoughtful Current Music: Korn and NIN giving me naughty thoughts |
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Well it happened Sarah and I are no more. She walked out on me yesterday morning. All that time and devotion and sacrifice for nothing.
Again it came RIGHT after I had just landed a new half way decent job. Honestly, I don't know what the hell to say anymore. Really I don't. For once in my life I'd like someone to love me for me and accept me for who I am. I have a really big caring heart and it seems that no one can see this in me. No one cares to stick around and tough it out. Times are tough people, face it and learn to live together through thick and thin.
One can be with someone for their good qualities, but love them for their bad ones. Why is that so hard to do for everyone else?
Honestly, I do not understand this society, these times, nor the ignoramuses that populate this sickly little mudball floating in space. Its due time we stopped living in the moment. Live, love, learn and create. That is all for those who care.
Do not blame me in the next few months for stepping away from the world and shutting everything out. Its best that way for everyone. A heart broken like mine is sharp and makes deep wounds that never heal. I will return again, but we'll see if my heart recovers. Till then darkness be my blanket and the light of the moon be my pillow. For only in the coldness of the abyss do I slumber in these dark days of winter.Current Mood:  crushed Current Music: the epiphany of silence |
| » The keeper of iniquitious information |
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This was amusing, went from what I directly knew and I was right 100% of the time. In other news there's been a lot of shake-ups going on with me, hence the departure from contact with much of the outside world. What a mess life is. Ugh =/
There Are 0 Gaps in Your Knowledge
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Where you have gaps in your knowledge:
No Gaps!
Where you don't have gaps in your knowledge:
Philosophy
Religion
Economics
Literature
History
Science
Art
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Nov. 8th, 2008 @ 04:50 pm
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| » What inspire us? |
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What inspires us? Sources can be limitless but capturing the right mood or atmosphere is key. Personally, I've always found myself inspired by music. When I write I try to listen to a lot of soundtracks like the Mummy, 300, Kingdom of Heaven, V for Vendetta, Sleepy Hollow or most anything Danny Elfman, anime soundtracks, Midnight Syndicate, or anything thought-provoking like Rush, and yes even classical! hehe...
I tend to avoid things that require my attention or draw it away from the matter at hand. Sad as that may be that kills most music, including some of my favorites like Alice Cooper, Savatage, Queensryche, and well most Metal and definitely anything that has been popular for the last say 50 years?
When it comes to novels I love fantasy novels. I'm a big fan of Fred Saberhagen (died 2007; may he rest in peace), Gary Gygax (big duh there, also died this year; 2008; may he also rest in peace), Jack Vance, Margarett Weiss and Tracy Hickman (with a focus on their Dragonlance work which proved not EVERY wizard need be wearing a dunce hat, wearing tacky robes, with a sheep on their friggen chin!)
Turn offs to a novel iinclude when there is excessive use of nobility or royalty ro forward the plot, cliche themes (dragons are cool, yes but in moderation please), undead or cults, larger than life unkillable villains (I'm looking at you Forgotten Realms), and settings where gunpowder is abused.
Turn ons to a novel include rare and creative names outside of the common vernacular (try www.behindthename.com if you're that hard up), magic giving way to a bit of mysticism, mystery, horror-themes done right (H.P. Lovecraft, Stephen King, Clive Barker), humorous or serious dramatic themes done right (Michael Crichton, Neil Gaiman, Phillip K Dick, Gregory Maguire) and lastly sci-fi or pulpy works (Issac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, H.G. Wells).
Ok well back to writing. hehe.
Sep. 29th, 2008 @ 05:45 am
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| » A few quick images of my daughter from this Summer |
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Here's a few images of Selene riding her bike and being silly.
( For those that want to see them... )
Sep. 27th, 2008 @ 08:58 am
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| » Quick update and a quote |
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Well I have been exceedingly busy lately between traveling over 200 miles every two weeks or so to working on articles (well aside from normal work, whatever that may constitute these days.)
I rarely remember to post about my real life, aside from it being boring as hell, at least in my opinion. hehe... =)
Anyway here is something I dug up while doing research for an article for Paizo. Funny how applicable this is, especially today.
Thomas Jefferson on Banks:
"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and
corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored
to the people, to whom it properly belongs."
--Letter to the Secretary of the Treasury Albert Gallatin (1802)
Sep. 27th, 2008 @ 08:36 am
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| » On 4e I agree with lemuriapress and iuztheevil |
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lemuriapress, and iuztheevil, brought this up concerning the license.. here's my take. Come on its shiny and new! (coughs loudly)
Jul. 12th, 2008 @ 03:02 am
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| » momentary lapse of blogging |
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Been way....to busy to post lately not to mention I tend to live mostly at night due to work.
However, I found a little amusing test from Esme's blog, answered it 100% honestly too!
Jun. 10th, 2008 @ 07:09 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Well you know I'm awake too long and in a weird mood when I can listen to John Lennon's - Imagine and W.A.S.P. side-by-side, for those who wonder its the songs Cries in the Night and the Headless Children. I guess I'm in a deep mood. I tend to analyze everything so I love listening to the music especially with deep thought-inducing lyrics. Furthermore, like many people I'm a living contradiction. I could live by myself if I was left alone to my own ends, but on the other side of the coin I am capable of the type of undying devoted love for someone that one rarely sees.
On that note, I'd have to say Sarah has had an magnificently wondrous effect on me, she's actually been there to see me getting out of the hole that I've lived in life for so long. She's got to see me get published and has encouraged me to do more. I do the same for her, I always tell her she can do anything and give her everything I can to that end. Honestly, she's got to be the one person I can count on these days. Lets hope it lasts!
Anyway! For those who care these are the lyrics I am listening to. I'd understand if ya don't know W.A.S.P. but Imagine, ya best know! =P
John Lennon- Imagine
W.A.S.P. - The Headless Children
W.A.S.P. - Cries in the Night
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td>
Here's a pic of us at work at the Halloween store.
 YAY! =) |
Oct. 17th, 2007 @ 02:12 am
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| » The only verdict is vengeance |
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I love this movie, its deep on so many levels and reflects not only the character but the sociological and psychological development of said character. At the same time it also develops the background and setting in a way thats truly menacing and gritty.
A quick quote and some video.
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Evey Hammond: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
Evey Hammond: Oh. Right.
V: But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.
V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
[carves V into poster on wall]
V: The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
[giggles]
V: Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
Evey Hammond: Are you like a crazy person?
V: I am quite sure they will say so. But, to whom am I speaking with?
Evey Hammond: I'm Evey.
V: Evey? E-V. Of course you are.
Evey Hammond: What does that mean?
V: It means that I, like God, do not play with dice and I don't believe in coincidences. |
Oct. 1st, 2007 @ 04:45 pm
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| » Not that anyone cares |
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Your Score: Hot Tamale You have an intellectual sexiness factor of 68! 
You're hot! You've read a lot. You've done a lot, and there's a lot you'd like to try in the future. You've got a sharp, sexy mind, and few inhibitions to restrain you from exploring all the pleasure you can get. You have few hang-ups, and there's not much you don't know about sex. You're open-minded and able to enjoy things that would make a lesser person squeamish.
You're an exceptional treat as a lover, appreciated greatly by those who know the differnce. You were probably bored with a few of the people you've been with in your past, feeling like you had to drag them along with you in the sexual adventures you want to have, and probably dumping them for the same reason. It takes a lot to stimulate you; you realize it's not just about bumping uglies. In the end there's gotta be a lot more to it.
Still, there is always room for improvement. Before you can graduate into a true sexual genius, there are a few things you've got to learn, to explore, to think through, talk through, and fuck through. A good place to start is in taking a look at the few things you're still a little hesitant to try. Break down you're last few barriers and discover the outer sexual frontiers, and you'll become a master.
Sep. 8th, 2007 @ 01:21 am
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| » A message for us all to remember. |
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For remembering the past is the best way not to repeat it. Especially when we travel roads taken so many times before.
Its important to remember that security rests on the opposite side of the wheel of freedom. That by gaining one you sacrifice the other. Sit back and think about it sometime, even if its under the green canopy of a tree or in the solitude of your own office. Think everyday about how you could make your world better by just caring a little more and removing the false pretenses of complacency.
Sep. 5th, 2007 @ 10:20 pm
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| » Dragon 359 and GenCon |
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Dragon 359
Its out now with an article I wrote, entitled Treasures of Greyhawk. You can order it here or get it at your local Borders/ Barnes and Nobles in the magazine rack. Get it! Its the last printed issue of Dragon ever.
GenCon
Well GenCon was a blast I stayed till Sunday to coordinate with a few ppl. Sadly I missed Rob Kuntz to gather the Warlock's Walk adventure and get Maure Castle signed. Sad really. =/
In other news, I met up with all of the Paizo crew and schmoozed a bnit, got several things signed and signed quite a few Dragon Magazines. YAY!
Also met up with a lot of the Greyhawk crew after the announcements for 4e and the end of Living Greyhawk. Consequently, this means that the Oerth Journal staff will need to step up to plate even more. At the convention I revealed the pre-print copies of Seltaren, the Seer of Urnst, and the Mystic Catalogue of the Company of Seven (which also makes a nice addendum to my article in Dragon and to the Expedition to the Ruins of Greyhawk Adventure that just came out.
Also spoke to Frank Mentzer and the OJ is in talks to land Aquaria as well. =)
Also met up with some really nice fun people there, many of which were Greyhawk fans. Sarah was there. Also met up with Dreammoon, Daigle, Potantseum, Lilith, Nick Logue, GVD, Samwise, Robbastard, . Finally, I made some new friends in Esme and Leo, both are very cool and laid back. I'm very glad to have met them. Conventions are awesome for stuff like that. =)
Aug. 25th, 2007 @ 08:30 pm
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| » Wicked! |
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I like this song a lot. Actually all of Wicked. hehe... my artsy side always gets the best of me. =P
I'll get my GenCon update later.
( No Good Deed )
Aug. 23rd, 2007 @ 10:35 pm
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| » A quote I live by. |
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The following quote doesn't just apply to youth. Its all encompassing much like many of Nietzsche's works.
"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently. - Friedrich Nietzsche
He's bets known though for this one. Which is also true and has been explored in many books, movies, and games worldwide.
"If you stare into the Abyss long enough the Abyss stares back at you. - Friedrich Nietzsche
Jul. 21st, 2007 @ 12:48 am
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| » sounds about right, mr. otter... |
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Your Score: The Otter Here's your results! Your spirit animal has a Nobility ranking of 11 out of 18.
Your spirit animal is the otter. Playful, curious and fun animals, they are truly the start of what can be considered a noble creature. Otters are good at figuring things out, and make great friends. You are lucky to have one as a spirit animal. Otters are fairly rare as spirit animals.
***Wondering how this animal was chosen for you? These questions were carefully thought out to see how important you hold certain virtues such as: humanism, self-knowledge, rationalism, the love of freedom and other somewhat Hellenic ideals. Some of the questions were very subtle. Your score was then matched with an animal of corresponding nobility. However, you shouldn't think this was a right/wrong sort of test, but more of an idealistic values test. It's ok to not hold these values, you'll just get an animal spirit of lower stature if you do!***
Jul. 12th, 2007 @ 11:07 pm
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| » The Origins Report |
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Wow what can I say. Busy day!
Went to Origins and overall I'd have to say Paizo is REALLY picking up the pieces that WOTC drops. WOTC had no presence at Origins, save a bit of the RPGA. None not even a person to pick up their Origins award. Whereas Paizo was there to collect their Origins awards! My friend Sarah and I snapped the photos and those should be up on Paizo sometime soon I hope.
I spoke to Larry Elmore and he has agreed to let the Oerth Journal use any of the images from his website, so long as we provide credit and a website link to his site. WOOT!!!!
Anyway aside from that I spent a LOT of time at Paizo learning about Pathfinder, pushing the Oerth Journal, talked a lot of Greyhawk, and just talking shop with the guys.
Met Jason Buhlman, really hard worker I must say. Great guy too!
Erik Mona, of course we chatted a lot about layouts and about the Oerth Journal.
Also got to meet several of the article writers I'd never met before in person in fact Nicholas Logue and Greg Vaughn are great guys and quite hilarious. Both were very interested in the future of gaming, the Oerth Journal and Greyhawk. We all traded signatures and congrats all around, it was cool. I expect we'll be doing the same at GenCon. Which will be flippin awesome!
Anyway since I don't want to bore many with the details I'll post a pic here of Greg Vaughn, me, and Nicholas Logue. Don't mind the bunny ears we're a zany crew! =)
Jul. 9th, 2007 @ 02:12 pm
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duicarthan's journal
